Fighting the dark days.

  Where do I start, it's never easy losing a loved one. Everyone grieves differently when it comes to death. New year day I lost my grandfather. He passed away in his sleep and when I found out I couldn't believe what I was hearing. The amount of pain that filled my heart that morning. I still remember that day like it was this morning. I was in my bed watching a friend stream on Facebook. I hear my father say something but couldn't make out the words. Then my mother got up and opened my door then I heard my father crying. I was lost and didn't know what was going on. I asked my mom what happen, and she said, "Your grandpa passed away." I stepped back off the bed almost falling, and I started shaking. I could hear my self-screaming on the inside. I fell to the floor and a panic trying to process what I just heard. My mother was comforting my father and trying to get me to breathe. I jumped up to go find my big brother. I couldn't even bring myself to s...

  I'm there for people and when I'm down there's no one ever really there for me. Sometimes I want to cry but what would that do? Things will still be the same once I wipe my tears. It hurt knowing at the end of the day you only have yourself. You can be there for everybody even when you down to your last and none of the people you helped would even look in your directions when you need them. Sitting here typing this I keep thinking of all the people that claimed they cared and how I tried to reach out to them and got ignored. I tell a person I might get put out and all they could say is "Okay". "OKAY" really like if the shoe was on the other foot I would be there trying to help as best as I can. Everything I do for people is out the kindness of my heart and I never asked for anything in return. I try to deal with all my problems the best I can with the help of no one. Sometimes I just want to give up and be down with everything.